All Hedgehogs Go To Heaven
by PersonalitySoup
Summary: When Joshua's Horn goes missing, Rachel sends the angels, Writer Rhymes and Russell to find it. But when they return Earth, Writer has no intention of getting the Horn so soon. Especially when he meets Miss Buttercream Sundae. But he sees he can't meet her because he's a ghost, thanks to Rachel, Writer trusts his brother, Romono. Little does he know, Romono is working for the Devil


We start with an angel hedgehog speaking into a pay phone.

This hedgehog is Romono, Writer Rhymes' brother. He had brown and blue quills. He had a silver halo and wings to match. He also had a baby blue shirt.

"Hey, boss, I-"

"Something happened! What have you done," the voice on the other line asked, angrily.

"Nothing! Just know this, you'll have the item today! Just like we shook on! It's as good as in your precious paws," Romono said.

The voice grumbled in disbelieve.

"Trust me! Nothing's gonna go wrong!"

"You heavy-mind higglehog!"

"Don't call me higglehog! Do you know the meaning of patience?"

"Shut up!"

The phone began turning red with heat, burning Romono's paws.

"As long as hedgehogs are involved, anything and everyone could go wrong!"

Romono bounced the phone in his hands before hanging up.

"Bring me that horn," was heard before he hung up.

Romono blew and shook his hands.

"I'll take that as a no."

A clink was heard and Romono stuck his finger to get his change.

"Ah, keep the quarter."

He floated out the box, reached into his shirt and pulled out his halo. He fixed it up over his head and flew away.

But he never noticed the red mist leaking from the phone.

* * *

(Angelic voices sing gracefully, as credits roll across the screen. They're credits, so no one really cares all that much)

Many hedgehogs are lined up on either side on the walkway as a hedgehog gets his badge from Rachel.

"I am proud to present this special token to our dear..."

Rachel voice is taken over by Writer.

"Only in heaven, only in heaven, can a bunch of squeaky clean angels get awarded for being extra squeaky clean."

Romono shushed him.

Rachel smiled as she pinned the wing badge onto the chest of the lucky hedgehog. He smiled as he walked back the row.

"And now our final honoree. Voted most rehabilitated by our lovely heavenly jury..."

Writer scoffed, catching the attention of other hedgehogs.

"Wouldn't be caught dead wearing one of this stupid winged badges. Eh, Romono?"

Writer elbowed his brother, jokingly. Romono grabbed his elbow and set it back down. He forcefully brought his finger up to his lips in a "Shush!" manner.

"...A hedgehog who has lifted himself up from the depths of depravity. Who proves that everyone deserves a loving second chance..."

Writer slid his hand down his face in frustration. He groaned, getting dirty looks from the hedgehogs on the sides.

"Now I way they call this place the Eternity. Everything that goes on here takes forever!"

The hedgehogs finally had enough and told him to shush.

"Eh, Writer, show some respect."

"...For making the absolute best he could with what he had to work with. This first class, diamond studded angel wing pin goes to, ooh, Romono!"

Writer mouth went agape as he looked at his brother smile.

"What an honor, my dearest Rachel. You are to kind."

He got up and began walking down the road, bowing to dogs.

"I just don't know what to say!"

He began saying thank you to everyone. He climbed the cloud stairs and puffed out his chest. Rachel smiled and pinned the winged badge to his baby blue shirt.

"Bless you beautifully."

Romono flew off the stage. Rachel took off as well.

"I only hope that the hedgehogs, who have yet to prove themselves, soon follow your glorious example."

The sideline hedgehogs puffed out their chest, showing they all had badges. Writer hunched over, looking around seeing he was the only one with out one.

He felt a paw on his shoulder and saw it was Romono.

"Don't sweat it, lil' bro. But remember, it never hurts to play along."

Writer crossed his arms.

"Halo polisher."

Suddenly, the music Joshua's Horn rang in everyone's ears. Everyone smiled and began flying to the Pearly Gates.

"Whoa! I'm late!"

Writer hopped away, leaving Romono.

Writer began hopping on hedgehogs, trying to get to gates.

He soon made it, but with a few complications.

He skid into a few hedgehogs, sending one of the edge.

"Sorry. Sucky brake pads."

Writer tossed his halo in after the hedgehog.

"Have the newcomers touched down yet?"

"No not yet."

A smallish hedgehog held a picture of another, extremely beautiful, hedgehog. It was signed, "Princess loves ya, darlin'!"

That same hedgehog, only a lot fatter, flew up first. Writer backed up, while the little hedgehog smiled outstretched his arms.

The hedgehog landed on him. She picked him and gave him a big ol' kiss.

"Put on some weight have we, Princess?"

All of a sudden, hedgehogs started flying up and landing on the cliff's edge. Whatever they brought up, such as vacuums or accidental knifes, were taken ad replaced with a halo, wings, and a shirt of their favorite color.

The check-in hedgehog looked over the edge.

"That's it. No more arrivals."

Writer jumped to the sound of that.

"Whoa whoa whoa. What do you mean no more?! I'm expecting company!"

The hedgehog began naming off names.

"Cheri, Chunky, Davey, Roco and..."

Suddenly, one more hedgehog came up and over. He hollered, which made Writer turn around and smile.

"Russell! Hey-hey!"

Writer outstretched his arms as the hedgehog crashed into him.

"Oh, yeah. Right here."

Russell looked up and blinked twice, but his eyes remained groggy.

"Where am I?"

Writer got up and helped him up.

"Russell, you ol' neat bag, you."

Suddenly, Russell started choking and coughing.

"Ey-ey! You cool, bud?"

Russell finally hacked up a marshmallow. Writer picked it up and smiled. He would have eaten it if Russell hasn't hugged him.

"Writer, it's you! Joy!"

"Gee, Rus, you too kind."

He threw the marshmallow into the air and would have eaten too if the check-in hedgehog hadn't caught it.

"Sorry sir, but can't take this with you."

The hedgehog dropped the marshmallow into a bin and pulled out a silver halo. He threw it to Russell, where it took place over his head.

Russell looked at it and gasped.

"Wait a minute. You and Personality Soup died in that car accident, right?"

Writer nodded.

"So does that mean..."

"You bet it does, Rusty ole pal. You get it does."

Russell's top half was now covered with a light orange shirt with wings on the back.

"Oh boy."

"Welcome to Hedgehog Heaven, Rus."

Writer began walking away, Russell following.

"Come on. I'll show you around, you can mark your place."

Russell hopped up after Writer, get his head stuck in his halo in the process. He grabbed it pulled it off. He looked at it then at Writer, who was walking away still, shrugged and put it back on.

"Wait up, Writer!"

Joshua's Horn is placed back under it's glass and the gates close.

"This is so awesome! It's a lot better than what I imagined!"

A hedgehog was digging in the ground, when millions upon millions of nuts flew out.

"Hey, Writer, wait a minute. I'm not rustling."

"That's funny. Cause you look like him to me."

"No, I mean, for the first time in my life, I'm not losing my quills!"

"This is Heaven, Rus! Quilling stops the moment you come through the Pearly Gates."

A group of hedgehogs floated by, making Russell laugh happily.

"Everyone's flying around! Does that mean..."

He grabbed Writer's shirt.

"Me too?"

"Oh yeah. It's all part of being an angel."

To emphasize his point, Writer began flying in circles. Russell laughed happily again.

"I think I'm gonna like it here, Writer."

Writer spun around slowly before touching the ground.

"Believe me, it's gets old real fast."

"Uh-hu."

The road started moving Russell toward Writer. When he caught up, the two started moving together.

"What could you possibly mean?"

"It's real hard to explain. This crib is supposed to have everything, to be the best it can be. But it's too, I don't know. It's too..."

Writer:

It's too heavenly here

It's too calming and paradise like

Straight and narrow

And way too nice like

Everyday is sunny and clear

It's too heavenly here

It's too blissful to bear

Pure and quiet

And way too mellow

All my brain cells have gone to jello

It always feels like a year

It's too heavenly here

I need some action, I need some juice

That crazy kind of feeling of

Running fast and loose

Just some razzle-dazzle

And a just a touch stress and strife

I gotta get some life in my life

But it's too heavenly here

There's no way I could be a sinner

I roll my dice,

Yet always a winner!

It's too legit and sincere

It's too heavenly here

What good's a writer without a plan?

I'm wasted talent

That's all that I am

But this operator

Is off the right address

Cause there's ain't thing to finagle

And not one thing finesse

Angels:

It's so heavenly here

Pure and perfect,

Sublime and shining

Every cloud has a silver lining

We are all full of good cheer

It's so heavenly here

Writer:

They're all too saintly!

I just can't relate

There's gotta be an exit

Through those Pearly Gates

Behold a hedgehog who's

Been cut down in his prime

I never did the crime

So do make me do this time

'Cause it's too heavenly here

All hallelujahs and hosannas

It is always driving me bananas

I'm going out of my head

This crib is deader than dead

I'll just have make you see

That it's too heavenly

Angels:

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

Writer:

Too heavenly here!

Fireworks began going off, hedgehogs perched watching them.

"Writer, you need see a doctor."


End file.
